No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
