Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
