The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Houston, we have a blender
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
