i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
