my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
