If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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