Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
