how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
