she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
