The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
