I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
