i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My life is pants optional.
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