Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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