I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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