Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
