im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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