well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
