woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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