I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
