The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
