i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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