Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
