maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
