Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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