Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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