Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
