btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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