Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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