Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
