I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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