Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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