He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
