So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
