it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
