Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
