Your tits are I can't wait for
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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