Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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