SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
