Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
