just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
