it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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