you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
