I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
