just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
