He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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