dude i'm inner monologue high
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
