around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
