so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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