Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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