You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
