So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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