remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
