I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
