He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
