Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she smelled like a LAN party
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
